23 7 / 2014
The Real World: Avengers Tower
- 1: So what's it like living with Tony?
- 2: When I moved in, he insisted on funding all of my research. Except, you know, ever since The Incident, all my work's been theoretical. It's not actually that expensive. I've started just spending all the extra on fruit pies, just to see if he was keeping track. He isn't. There are a lot of unused rooms in this building, and at least three of them are stacked floor to ceiling with fruit pies. He hasn't said a word.
- 3: It turned out Pepper and I both speak French. Tony doesn't. Now, whenever he walks in, we just start whispering in French and giggling. Half the time we're just exchanging recipes. He pretends not to be eavesdropping, but the other day I caught him asking JARVIS what 'des oeufs' meant.
- 4: I bought this big bag of little plastic flies, right? And whenever he's not paying attention, I throw them into his drink. Half the time he doesn't even notice and just drinks the damn things, but the other half? He starts checking all the house filtration systems, the exterminators, the works. He can't figure out where all these flies are coming from. He's fumigated three times in the last month.
- 5: I attempted to provide assistance with a project, but Stark assured me that it was 'very technical', and that I would not understand the intricacies. I can see why he would think so, as I am a mere Prince of Asgard, taught such basic engineering when I was a child and his ancestors could not yet walk. It has been five weeks, and he still has not corrected the misaligned condenser coil causing the problem.
- 6: I don't know what Howard taught that kid, but he seems to be under the impression that homosexuality was invented in 2000. He keeps leaving magazines and pictures lying around like the sight of two men holding hands is going to give me a heart attack. I don't have the heart to tell him about the Greeks.
- 1: So how are things in Avengers Tower?
- 7: How are things? I have no idea. I really don't. There's some kind of insect infestation in the vents and I think a spy is trying to seduce my girlfriend into moving to France. I tried to prank Captain America with gay porn, but him and Thor just started trying to reverse-engineer workout routines. The other day I went into one of the spare rooms, and I found some kind of one-armed sex hobo sitting on a throne of empty fruit pie boxes. I just walked out and closed the door. I don't even wanna know.
23 7 / 2014
kilelele said: But can you imagine Professor X visiting SHIELD and then, amidst all these voices thinking about work and and files and se, there's this one voice that goes 'I wonder if I could make one of the surrounding buildings if I jumped from the roof of the triskelion and had a running start. probably not. ok what if i had a motorcycle start. what if i rode my motorcyle and then JUMPED OFF IT IN MIDAIR' and charles peeks in and steve is in a meeting, standing rimrod straight, looking super serious
oh my fucking god
The next time he comes in Steve’s thoughts veer off into the first few lines of Starspangled Man With A Plan, which is immediately followed by an impressive string of swears because HE KEEPS THINKING HE’S GOT THE FUCKING SONG OUT OF HIS HEAD AND THEN IT JUST CREEPS BACK UP ON HIM WHAT THE FUCK. Trying to dislodge it, he starts reciting some modern pop song about milkshakes and boys in your yard
i can’t breathe
23 7 / 2014
Heh, I play the cello, I’ll bet this is an interesting article.
Jesus fucking christ dont get me started on moving the damn thing
They cause die
Me. Thats me.
Motherfucker you wanna play
IT GOT BETTER